Hello there and welcome to my 125th blog.
As I am certain many of you know, it is my wont to over dramatize and over catastrophise some of the stuff that goes on in my life.
More’s the pity that my Boys are no longer living at home, as I have always found that they have a way (sometimes not so subtle) of bringing me back to proper reality with rather a big bang. This is good and, it is so much better for my mental health to have this, rather than the perceived reality that lives with abandon and freedom within my head.
They cannot do that now, sadly. However, I believe that even the boys might agree that, over the last while, I have had a little more than my fair share of some stressful stuff. They may even have sympathised with me!
Taking each of the trying things individually, they do not seem too hectic… but altogether, when they seemed to arrive almost simultaneously, or, at best, one closely followed by the other, it became a little hot for me to handle.
It would be tedious for me to explain them in detail, and this is not what this blog is about.
Suffice it to say, I have at times, felt as though I was clinging to that ubiquitous raft for dear life, as the storm seemed to worsen, and the waves washed repeatedly over me. Coupled with the overwhelm has been vulnerability, second guessing, and wait for it, the omnipresent, overthinking – Again, sadly, a fairly normal and recurring narrative for me.
Perhaps a little use of some hyperbole here, but i need to make a point. Just to say that in spite of this, there really have been many a wonderful time in between.
The point i need to make here is that…happily and joyously… there is a light at the end of this rather nasty tunnel, and yet another proverbial life lesson has been learnt.
It comes down to smiles and smiling. Does that not sound intriguing? I hope it does!
Of course, if we want to chat about smiling, we obviously have to mention laughter. About six years ago, I wrote a blog about the importance of this physical reaction to express amusement, joy, happiness, and sometimes even nervousness. Anyone who knows me, even a little, knows that I laugh a lot, and it’s often rather a large guffaw, which has been known to add to noise pollution, at its extreme… if there is such a thing. Jokes aside, I truly believe this has really helped me to remain on an almost even keel over recent years…. though some may repudiate this.
What about smiling?
A smile is subtle, accessible, and can be used anywhere. It is much easier to smile than to laugh and it can be faked and put on quite easily.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not about to sprout forth the benefits of being fake or unauthentic, not at all. It’s just that when you are feeling a bit down, or anxious, or worried, it is a helluva lot easier to put a smile on one’s face, than it is to try to force a laugh. Believe me, I know. Smiling has saved me. No, this is possibly a tad melodramatic!
Okay. Perhaps it has not exactly saved me, but it certainly has helped me hugely over this time. I smile a stack. I really do. It’s mainly when I treat, but this is a big part of my day and life, and it would seem that on many levels this is really good for me. Almost all of the time my smile is gorgeously reciprocated, and this just makes me feel really good. I believe that my smiles have helped me to realize that, in actual fact, my fantastic imperfect life, is just the berries. They do not solve every problem, or even any problem, but they really can lighten the weight or burden of carrying them.
Moving along.
What about the benefits of smiling?
- I feel that smiling makes my patients feel valued and cared for. The elderly folk are often ignored and they get lonely. A smile and a gentle touch can make their day, and it is so easy to do. I think, it says to them, “I see you”. This makes me feel valued too, and that is a grand thing.
- When I smile at people, I find that I do not necessarily need to say too much, and that is good. Contrary to popular belief I do have a limit (sometimes self-imposed) to the number of words I can use per day. My smile can be an act of kindness, and this encourages positive connections with my patients, carers, acquaintances, family, and friends are strengthened.
- Most of the time, my mood is lifted as soon as that smile arrives on my face. Apparently, the physical act of smiling activates pathways in your brain that influence your emotional state. In essence, you are then able to trick your mind into a state of happiness. This is so cool. Also, as with exercise and laughter, our feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin are released, and this may decrease anxiety and help improve mood.
- I like the thought that smiling may be likened to a gentle daily vitamin. This is very positive for me as I struggle to make my taking of oral vitamins daily a habit.
- I will be honest and say that even when it feels that I am faking my smile, it does seem to help me manage my stress a bit better. As they say, fake it till you make it.
- Smiling may be contagious. Your brain automatically notices and interprets other people’s facial expressions, and sometimes you may mimic them. So, you see someone smile, and you smile too, or vice versa.
- Your blood pressure may be lowered after smiling. Initially your heart rate increases due to the muscle contractions required to smile. Then you experience quite a long period of a slower and steadier beat.
- Your immunity may be boosted with a glorious smile. This may be because you are more relaxed when you smile, and your parasympathetic nervous system is activated. This is the chilled part of your autonomic nervous system.
- Smiling may decrease your pain with the release of our body’s natural painkillers, the endorphins, and the already mentioned feel good neurotransmitters.
- Smiling makes you look prettier, and may make you look more youthful, although I must confess seeing those laughter lines deepen as I smile, make me feel rather old.
- You may be perceived to be successful if you smile often. Not sure about this one, except that perhaps you may appear to be confident, and self-assured. Either that or you may be seen to be a bit of an idiot! Take your pick.
- You may stay positive if you smile regularly. Even if it feels unnatural or forced, a message is still sent to your brain, saying that life is good. This may enhance your grit and resilience as well. I can really relate to this.
- Some of the folk in the know feel that smiling may lengthen your overall lifespan. There doesn’t seem to be research explaining why this is the case, but I will take it. Perhaps for some of the reasons mentioned in the above points.
My take home on this whole smiling narrative, is that we have choices. We all know that it is all about choices, so let us choose to show up in this amazing world with a magnificent smile.
With thanks to some Mark Stibich for some ideas in his article on verywellmind.
PS. Just to say that if you are reading this and wondering if I am okay, I really am. In spite of a few bumps that are stil in my road, I am really good and have so much to look forward to..
In this blog, as in most of mine, I am reflecting and learning, and all is great.
Wishing you all a wonderful rest of week.