Happy New year dear friends and welcome to my 76 th blog.
Dearest Hayles,
Happy New Year to you!
I hope that 2020 is a wonderful year for you.
I decided to pen a letter to you as my thoughts are more coherent in this way and this will enable me to cover all that I want to chat to you about.
So, let us begin our discussion about you in 2021.
Physically, I feel that towards the end of the year you started implementing some positive activities.
You realized the importance of strength training, and I was shocked and thrilled to see you doing some bikini boot camp sessions (not in a bikini, I know that is not your style) whilst on holiday in Southbroom. The fact that you could not move for 2 days after your 1st session highlighted the fact that you really do need to concentrate on strengthening your whole body, especially your very weak core. Now, your recent joining of the online JEFF fitness community is brilliant. This programme also has meditation sessions, so I can’t wait to see you doing some of these!! I do need to caution you against overdoing it and taking care of your back and neck. Your history of numerous injuries bears testament to the fact that you need to implement changes in physical activity slowly
A combination of strength training, cardio and stretching are vital for optimal physical health. I am often bemused by the fact that you are a physio and do not always walk the physical talk. It’s all good though. I also would love to see you challenging yourself a little more. It will enhance your physical as well as your mental wellbeing.
Mentally, you had another learning year of note.
It was not that you did any formal studying as you did when you undertook your onerous Diploma in Nutrition, but more of getting to grips, properly, with your new practice. I look forward to seeing you presenting your Fall Prevention talks and completing your guide on this subject. The acquisition of your online exercise programme has enhanced your practice greatly and has also been a great way for you to brush up on your rather rusty exercise regimes. I can see this going from strength to strength as you create specific programmes for specific patients needs.. That will take time to so give yourself this. I believe your ongoing breathwork learning is brilliant and will add huge value to you and your patients on an ongoing basis..
I feel that you are sometimes, if not often, a little cluttered in this learning department (let us not go to the cupboard story, yet,again). You need to create files or folders to streamline this. Between your physio learning, nutrition consulting, your blogs, your supplements business, and your ideas for a book, it sometimes gets a bit messy. Keep learning but perhaps manage it a little better. Writing down specific aims and goals can be extremely helpful. An online marketing course and power point presentation course may be helpful. Be sure not to forget about the continuing education points that you require for physio. You do not want to be audited again (3rd time) and found to be lacking.
Emotionally, I feel that you have grown tremendously.
In some respects, 2021 was very tough for you. Your Mum’s illness was a huge shock and the extensive ramifications of this have been quite rough. Your need to help her is sometimes to the detriment of your mental health, but I do understand that often there is no alternative. I would love it If you remained aware that you need to also take a step back every now and again, breathe, digest, and then return to the narrative. In retrospect the fact that you chose not to socialize during this time, was of great benefit to your overall health. Again, some balance in this aspect of your life would be amazing.
Those apron strings are a difficult one. At times it is as if you have untied them forever, and then, Bang! the bow is strongly retied, and some backward steps. However, your awareness in this area is fantastic. You just need to take a little more action. Not an easy road for you. Your worry and anxiety over your family is huge, but I know that you are hoping to address this with coaching this year. Good thing. Your deep love for those nearest and dearest to you is such a blessing and I know that you are beyond grateful for magnificent folk you have in your life..
Managing missing Muz has its ups and downs and that’s okay. I love that you see her in rays of sun, especially over the sea and in some yellow birds. This is a journey. Be gentle with yourself. Christmas was easier and that was good. Some of your best immediate family time ever.
You do still seem to struggle with this whole being too hard on yourself. I know you are getting better at recognizing this, but I would like to see you working consistently on being kinder to you. This goes hand in hand with your need to People Please. At times when you do what your heart dictates that you should, you are so much happier and more content. I know there are several have to’s, but you need to understand that being authentic and honest, mostly, is vital for your health and wellbeing. If folk do not understand this, then perhaps they should not be part of your tribe.
You really need to think before you speak. Not in the way that you just shoot from the hip sometimes, but the habit you seem to have adopted of offering to do something or give up something when you really do not want to. I am not certain whether this is due to your ongoing kindness mission or whether it’s also the whole not wanting to hurt others tale. Don’t offer to do deeds unless you are certain you are happy to do so. I have watched you do this, and you regret it very soon thereafter. This often does not end well. Your resentment and irritation mess with your psych, issues ensue and often Rich is the resultant scapegoat. Not cool. Try to work on taking ownership of this.
This brings me to kindness. This has become your continuing pursuit and in essence is an amazing adjunct to aiming for your overall health and wellness. It seems to be evolving and I think you have dealt with your initial concern about the general lack of response from people. I am proud that you have been able to work through this and that you have realized that this is your endeavour and does not need to be anyone else’s. I look forward to observing this ongoing journey.
Your spirituality remains close to your heart and is not something you need share very much. I feel that this is fine, and you seem to feel comfortable around it. I think you just need to be careful that you keep authentic about your beliefs. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not, just because you think you will be liked or respected more.
Some general points.
It seems that quite recently you have come on in leaps and bounds in the judging and criticizing of others department. I am thrilled for you about this. I know Rich is a great sounding board for you in this field and has helped you a lot. Keep up the good work. The fact that you can identify why you do criticize, and judge is brilliant. It takes courage to understand that your insecurities and fluctuating self esteem is the cause of this, mostly.
Your competitive nature will probably never change, and that’s okay, especially if you channel it, the way you have been doing so. When you get back to France, speaking the lingo will be a breeze with all the French lessons you are having on Duolingo. Congrats on reaching Diamond status. Now just to stay there, although seriously it is so not necessary. It gives me pleasure that you seem to have ceased competing with other people’s children because that did not serve you or them or your relationships in any size, shape or form.
Your eating habits and body issues aren’t necessary for me to talk to you about in depth as I know you are totally cognisant of them. It seems they are your cross to bear but you manage them quite well. Just wish you would get over the fact that your calves are stronger (and therefore larger) than they were, and that this is super healthy. Your insurance policy of the Neolife supplements that you take daily are awesome. Just try to keep consistent with the rainbow of fresh fruit and veg and lose the diet sodas and sugar whenever possible. I see you are loving eating red meat again, and in moderation (sorry i know how you dislike this word) and that is very pleasing. Just putting it out there that less bubbles and possibly more dry days would be absolutely fabulous, but not holding my breath on this one.
You are a very chatty and expressive person, and you open very easily and wear your heart on your sleeve most of the time. You are probably not going to end up with an ulcer as you do not bottle things up, which is a positive thing. Perhaps you can start trying to listen a little more than you do. You do listen to, but I just think you could do this a little more.
Anyway, enough said. I believe in your heart you do truly love and care for yourself, and that is just the best.
I just want to encourages you to strive towards becoming the best version of you.
Stay safe, have fun, keep laughing and loving, be you and spread kindness wherever you go.
All my love,
Hayley.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx