Hello there friends and welcome to my 95^th blog.

Wishing you all a healthy, gentle, and kind New Year.

At the end of last year, blessed with precious time on my hands, I whiled away some of this, watching the sea, and having some quiet moments of introspection.

I thought about my year, areas in my life I could perhaps work on, and how I would like my year ahead to look.

I have never been one for making definitive New Year’s resolutions, in much the same way as I have never been a specific diet or eating plan person.  Reading and researching a little made me realize that I am not alone in this. So often folk seem to make unrealistic resolutions and aim to achieve very difficult stuff. Studies have shown that one in four people give up on their New Year’s resolutions within a week, and forty three percent expect to fail before February.  This leaves one feeling guilty, useless, and altogether rather bleak. Not a fab way to commence a brand-new year. This does not happen to everyone, and there are some incredibly disciplined and driven folk out there who manage to keep their resolutions, and that is brilliant, and good on them. One also needs to explore the reason behind the intention. Ill health is a great motivator, and understandably so.

However, for those of us for whom the bell does not toll when it comes to these goals and aims, there may be an awesome alternative.

This is a yearly theme.

Let me explain.

Unlike a New Year’s resolution, this is not a test that you pass or fail. Whereas resolutions encourage you to look at life as a series of exams, a yearly theme can adapt to changing circumstances because it can be explored in different ways.

Take the classic New Year resolution to go on a diet. Week one goes really well. However, by day six, you have had a bad day, you are tired, and your willpower is low. Without further ado, you dash to the kitchen, open the fridge, and dive headlong into that delectable box of Quality Street, that has been tempting you terribly since Day one. You almost manage to polish off the whole box, barring the orange crème and strawberry delights (you have never liked these) and you are left feeling bereft, woebegone and you spend the rest of the night gorging on everything that is “forbidden”.  The following day you may make a half-hearted attempt to get back on the wagon, but more than likely, you slip back into your old eating habits and feel distraught and upset and it has all gone completely and utterly pear. Bang goes your resolution.

However, what if you decided rather to choose a theme of striving for your optimal health? Health encompasses so much and as most of you know, great health is what I consistently strive for. So, this could mean prioritizing your sleep, going outdoors, and moving more often, drinking more water, eating mainly nutritious food, being kind, to name but a few. This theme is adaptable, creative, and holistic and encourages you look at all aspects of your health, not just what you eat.  It’s an umbrella type of goal, which actually makes striving towards it a whole lot easier. If you aren’t succeeding in one area, you move onto another and go back to the difficult one later. So, if you eat the chocs, you could perhaps decide to take a walk or run after, instead of attacking the pantry. You could also decide to make a scrumptious salad for supper or do some research for your next blog. The possibilities are endless. There is minimal castigation or guilt, just motivation to strive towards the bigger picture, greater health, and wellness.

If your circumstances and needs change, you can modify your theme accordingly.  You may decide to enrol on an interesting course, so your theme is enriching your mind. Together with this you decide that you need to manage your time better and declutter your desk. Don’t mention the war!

Your annual theme will differ from mine and everyone else’s and that’s the joy of a theme as opposed to a resolution or specific goal.

Yearly themes help you embody a growth mindset, I spoke of this in a blog last year.  They help you focus your attention on what matters most and choosing them can help you keep committed and accountable to your goals, even when life gets hectic. They keep you grounded and offer you direction when you are confused. They may help you remember your why and this is important when you get distracted and uncertain on your path.  Theme words may actually be your intentions for the year.

So, how do we go about finding annual theme word or words best suited to us?

There are a number of ways of doing this. I liked Fernando Gros’s method best.

• Take a piece of paper and draw three columns.
• In the first column write down a list of the things that you feel were missing in your life last year. This will include your personal life, your work life, and the world around you. You are looking for the gaps and the inadequacies.
• In the second column make a list of things you want more of in the coming year. You will probably start with the things that you felt were missing, but you will also include the things that are already part of your life but that you would like to experience more.
• Then try to make connections with the first and second column by drawing lines from one column to the other.
• In the third column make a list of the words that describe these connections, paths, and themes.
• Examine these and look for nouns and verbs you would use to explain these commitments. This is your list of potential yearly themes. Now narrow down your list to a few words and live with them for a while. Your theme word or words may not be on the list, but this short list will get you to them. Hey presto, you have your theme!

You can have more than one yearly theme, but for me this is too complicated.

Your theme can change if it does not work for you. Some folks like to use seasonal themes in conjunction with yearly themes. To each his own.

Once you have set your year’s theme, an easy way to set a daily reminder is in your calendar app at a time that is suitable for you. You could also have a post-it on your bathroom or bedroom mirror or on your fridge. This could become part of your morning ritual.

Whenever you face a decision, big or small, return to your words, and try to make the decision based on your theme.

This annual theme story may not be for everyone. One size does not fit all.

However creating a theme for the New year may be for you if you are new to goal setting, you don’t like it, you do not have time for it or you do not know where to begin.

Some words of the year ideas.

Abundance

Balance

Calm

Discover

Embrace

Focus

Gratitude

Healing

Invest

Kindness

Laugh

Master

Organize

Pause

Rise

Self-love

Thrive

Vivacious

Worthy.

This is not dissimilar from my blog about a word of the year. However, I feel that when I choose my theme word, or words, I need to delve a little deeper than I did with my word of the year last year, which was breathe. It did serve me well, but more superficially.  I believe that my word theme should enable me to live a more intentional, and my best life, and  to help me strive towards my goals.

Some phrases of the year ideas.

Choosing health

Setting boundaries

Saying yes

Being mindful

Managing mindset

Embracing abundance

Choosing my thoughts

Staying curious

Finding balance

Striving and thriving

Being kind.

 

After some consideration and time, I have decided that my theme of the year is Active Listening.

I want to learn to listen properly. I want to listen to actually hear. I want to listen to my intuition, to my sage head, to my heart, my body, to my family, friends and patients, to nature, podcasts, music, and I want to strive to be that person who becomes a true and authentic listener. My hope is that I listen to learn, I listen to evaluate and analyse, and I listen to understand feeling and emotion.  This is one of the greatest ways of connecting and engaging with people and is the mark of many leaders in many spheres. It will be a challenge at times , but I am up for this.

With thanks to Lora de Vries, Stacy Fisher, Lifehack and Fernando Gros for some great ideas.

As usual, many of my personal thoughts and ideas. Perhaps this has resonated with you. If so, I would love to hear what your chosen theme of the year is.