Hello there amazing people and welcome to my forty-fifth blog.

Be true to yourself. Sounds so easy to do, but it really is not, and I have so enjoyed spending time this week exploring the theme. I love the words of Karen Moning,  “The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something that we know in our hearts is a lie”.

Below are some of my thoughts as well as those of some more recognized teachers, Lori Deschenne and Sarah Browne.

If you are true to yourself:

1. You are happy to share your thoughts and feelings.

Even if you are afraid of judgement or you are tempted to keep the peace, you say what needs to be said. You are willing to risk feeling embarrassed because you know your feelings are valid and sharing them is the key to healing what is hurting or fixing what is not working. This one I do not struggle with, sometimes to my detriment, but if I think before I speak, then it is usually okay (previous blog).

2. You uphold your needs and say no to requests that clash with them.

You know that you need to feel physically, mentally, and emotionally balanced and you prioritize these things even if it means saying no to other people. Sure, there may be some stuff that you have to do, but you understand it is not selfish to honour your needs and make them a priority. You do what is right for you and take good care of yourself and you do not compare yourself to others. You understand that you are ultimately the only one who can truly take care of yourself. As we know we come into the world alone, and we leave the world alone. I am pleased with my work in progress with this one.

3. You accept that not everyone likes you.

Though you wish you could please everyone because it feels a lot safer to receive validation than disapproval, you understand that not being some folks cup of tea is really fine. Find your tribe and stick to it. I, being Polly the People Pleaser, have a bit of difficulty with achieving this, frequently.

4. You are honest with yourself about what you need.

You need to be honest with yourself about your thoughts, feelings wants and needs before you can be honest with anyone else. You need to make your own space to connect with yourself by walking, hiking, jogging, cycling, journaling, meditating, being in the mountains or at the sea, that very important spoken about before, self-care. You ask yourself and strive to have the answers to those tough questions, why am I doing this? What am I getting from this? What would serve me better? This is often not an easy task for me as I find I have to dig and delve quite deeply to establish what my needs really are.

5. You forgive yourself.

You let go of your past mistakes and bad decisions and judgements. You search for a lesson or takeaway that will help prevent you from making the same blunder in the future. I know that I am often very hard on myself and I beat myself up over mistakes made and stupid stuff that I have said or done. I am spending time and making a huge effort to let things go, and it is actually working, mostly. So, pleased about this.

 

6. You are respected and supported for who you truly are.

You make sure that you surround yourself with people who accept you and your values. Lose the negativity and criticism. The first step is to know who you are (as in point 4 above.) and to respect yourself fully.  Self-acceptance, knowing your strengths, passions, limitations, and purpose in life is vital and the beginning of this whole process. Once you do this make sure that you have a tribe that will support and respect you for this. I have an awesome and varied tribe and I just love them all.

7. You are enough.

Believe that you are already enough. You really and truly are. You do not have to be more, do more, or buy more to be enough. This does not mean that you never make mistakes, or that you are everything. You were made to be you and make sure that you nurture and nourish the whole of you, warts, and all. Just be yourself. As I said before, you are perfect in your imperfections. I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am, often and quite consistently. I can say with honesty that I believe that I am enough.

 

8. You listen to your intuition and you trust it.

We have been so conditioned from birth to do what your parents or those in authority tell you to do so that finding your intuition can often be really quite hard. It takes time and practice and a lot of consistent work. Even if people question your judgement, sanity, or vision, no one is living your life and no one else has to live with the consequences of your choices. You trust yourself to know what is best and right for you. A work in progress (my four gazillionth one) for me. Another journey of self-exploration for me.

9. You are authentic.

When you are real, you can call the road you walk your own.  You take off that mask, not the one over your mouth and nose though, the one that is preventing you from revealing your true self. Do not fall prey to the idea of our image perfect society. When you live your life for you, you can let go of what you do not need. You become aware of your self-worth. This is an ongoing operation for me, and I think I am doing well. I have even started posting pics where I look terrible.

10. You understand that this soul searching can be very scary.

You do not necessarily like peeling off those outer layers because you are exposing yourself and getting out of your comfort zone and this can be quite frightening and a little daunting.. You take care of yourself during these unsettling times. This is my narrative, and I am managing a few steps forward, and then some back. It is cool, though and another learn for me.

 

11. You change your mind if you make a choice that does not end up being right for you.

You need to try to park them and get on (an echo of last week’s blog). Whether it be a commitment you cannot honour, a business that was not what you expected, or a relationship that does not feel right,  have the courage to say, this is not right for me and I am going to change it. You allow yourself to evolve and let go of what you have outgrown. You are braver and more courageous than you think. This is one of my biggest battles, and flip, I keep on having to dust myself off and get back on that flaming wagon.

12. You focus more on your own values than what society considers acceptable.

These values are your life compass and can change over time. Make sure you check in with yourself regularly to be sure that you are living the life that feels good and sits well in your heart, and not the life that society has dictated to you. Oh, my word, I do struggle with this as I try to get my inner judge and critic out of my head.

 

13. You welcome your vulnerability.

It is okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up and it’s okay not to be okay. You need to embrace all aspects of your existence. You learn to appreciate the strange and quirky things that make you special.  You make peace with your past and you do not judge yourself (point 5 above) Being vulnerable will help attract the trustworthy and kind people in your life You are on your own unique journey and you do not have to compete or compare yourself with others. A little challenging for me at times, the not comparing or competing, but the vulnerability I definitely embrace.

14. You make those dreams come true.

Change your attitude, find the real you, trust yourself to begin again. Continue to build the life that you want and should have. You might have to start over once, twice, three times, that is so fine. It is all about consistently choosing to do what your gut feel tells you is right for you. This is sometimes rather a steep climb for me, but I just try to take one step at a time.

15. You realize that there will be times when you cannot say or do or be as you wish.

There are always going to be times that you cannot say or do exactly what your heart says you should. This could be with colleagues, friends, or family. At these times you can listen to your head and do and say what you need to. As long as in your heart you understand that this is necessary and that you are not actually betraying yourself with these actions.

So, as with all things in life, we will carry out some of these things, some of the time, and probably never one hundred percent perfectly. There may be times when we do none of these things. Sometimes we will feel fantastic and other times we will feel completely overwhelmed by conflicting wants needs and beliefs that we just shut down. It happens a lot and that is okay. We must just keep on the long and sometimes weary road, that we believe will lead us to our ultimate life, forever and always being kind to ourselves.

Wishing you all an intuitive weekend of being totally true to yourselves.

 

 

Tip number forty-four.

The greatest gift that you can give to others and to yourself, is time. Embrace this gift as fully as you can. Do not waste any of it. Our time is finite. As I have said before, let us make the most of every second we have.