Hello there and welcome to my forty-eighth blog.

Thank you all so much for the beyond awesome response to my one year anniversary of blogging.

We all want to feel loved and cherished.

If I think of my patients, particularly the elderly ones, the best thing I can do for them is to make them feel as though they are important, that I really care about them and that their lives are meaningful.  I want them to know that I see them more than patients, but rather as individuals who are making a difference to my life, which they certainly are.

Most of my patients presently are more mature folk. A number of them have all their relatives living abroad, and most of them have not been able to see their relatives all year. When I took over this practice of treating the more mature folk, it was at the start of lockdown and many of my patients had started to feel really lonely.  It really made me sad, and I am sure that this contributed to my trying my very best to make them feel special and cherished. It goes without saying, that I was also trying my best to give the best treatments I could in order to ensure that I maintained the very high standard my predecessor had set.

After a while, most of them responded to my chattiness, smiles, and laughter rather well. The odd grumpy (often understandably) person seemed to get over their crossness relatively quickly. So, this continued. A break while I had Covid and then things went back to how they were. Except that there was a familiarity and a friendship that had evolved with most of them and that was just great. There were messages sent and videos too, to relatives globally, thanks to the huge blessing of social media. I became the go-between between the relatives and my patients, particularly as a number of them were not interested in using their cell phones, much to the dismay of their offspring. This made me feel great and needed and helped both my patients and their kids or siblings to feel connected with one another. I made them feel special, and in turn, I felt needed.

I made no grand gestures and honestly did all this with no expectation of receiving anything emotionally in return.  However, the joy of doing this has made me feel flipping amazing!

I need to add here, that I have not always been like this. In the past, when I did a kind deed, or helped someone or gave to someone, I did want to be thanked, and properly thanks, and a little” you are just amazing” was also quite important. I think I am growing up. Oh, my word, it’s taken long enough, Hayles!! I definitely am still self-involved, but I now understand that every day I have a new opportunity to bring out the best in the people I know and meet. I have possibly neglected my friends in this department, but I hope and trust that those who matter feel that I have made them feel special.

So, I sat with these ideas and thoughts, with a little help, about how I could make my patients feel even more special on an ongoing basis.

1. Pay attention

I hopefully do this most of the time. I look into their eyes when they are talking or when I am talking. I compliment them on their appearance or the brilliant way they managed to walk to the toilet and back. I refer to previous chats that we have had and ask them how their daughter, sister, or grandchild are doing.

2. Encourage them

I tell them that they are improving /have improved and if they are not, I explain that we are taking baby steps and that they need to be kind to themselves and take things slowly.

 

3. Give time

I do give them my time and I do not mention that I am running late or that I am in a hurry. I really hope that they do not pick up on my stress sometimes.  This coming from a girl who is known for her impatience, time obsession, and hyperness.

4. Show affection

I think I have this sorted as I am a very affectionate person. In spite of, and sometimes because of, Covid times, I constantly touch them. I hold their hand, I put my arm around them, I touch their arm.

5. Share with them

I share the fact that I worry about my family, our country, and the world at large. I share my happiness with them when something good has happened to me or someone near and dear to me. We share in the grief of losing a loved one. it’s really great because they never seem to think I overshare, or perhaps they are too polite to say so! I have cried together with a couple of them. They share their problems with me. We laugh together a lot too.

6. Do things together

I often do the same exercises together with them as they are doing them, be it breathing exercises, leg exercises, or practicing some balance exercises. This is so much fun, especially with some vibey 70s music, and the team activity and sense of togetherness bring joy to us both before during, or after the session, we will just chat. It honestly feels like we are old friends, mostly. I joke with some and say “let’s just drink tea and have cake” instead of having a session. Sadly, this has yet to happen.

There are other ways in which we can make folk feel special.

1. Tell them how you feel

We often do not tell those who mean a great deal to us, that they do. You do not have to be mushy if that is not you. You can just say “I am so grateful to have you in my life” or what I often say, and I always mean it, “I miss you”.

2. Hug them

If this is not possible because of lockdown or socially distancing measures, swop this for an emoji or a long elbow touch. I hug my boys all the time.

3. Genuinely compliment them

This does not need to be every day, but it could just be to say, wow, your hair looks great or I love your dress, or your fragrance is heavenly. We all love receiving compliments and this makes us feel valued.

4.Show it through gestures

A kind and thoughtful message, a home-cooked meal, a treat delivery, or a bunch of flowers all can go a long way to show someone how important they are to you. When Rich and I had Covid, I was so touched and felt so loved by all the amazing gestures that came our way. Knowing that you have put their heart and soul into a thoughtful gesture for them, will make them feel so loved, needed, and valued.

5. Put in the hours

This is similar to the point above, giving time Take the time to appreciate those whom you care about. Prioritize them over other things that are not as important. Make sure you let them know that you value having them in your life. This can be difficult with the frenetic lives some of us lead, but I feel it is worth it.

6. Listen to them

Often all people need is a listening ear. Just for you to be there for them, to listen to their worries or what is happening in their life. This will show them you care. I think perhaps I fall a little in this area when it comes to remembering what my boys have told me. I think I need to make them understand that  I am getting on a bit. I definitely tell them that I love them all the time.

7. Actively take an interest

Try to remember what is happening in your loved one’s life and ask about this. It may be a sick Mum or a child writing exams or a sister living abroad. This will make their day.

8. Follow up

Send a message after meeting up with them to tell them that you really loved reconnecting and catching up. Remember important dates, even if you need to diarise this. I just love it when a dear friend or loved one sends me a message after we have met up.

9. Be consistent

Truly caring for someone means being consistent and being reliable. This is quite difficult at times as life can run away with you. It is worth persevering. Knowing someone you care about can turn to you at any time will make them feel so loved and appreciated.

 

At times at the moment, in the world that we are living right now, some of us would actually like to say “Stop the world I want to get off!” As this cannot happen, why don’t we go out there today and make one person feel cherished, cared about, loved, and treas What an awesome way to start the weekend!