Hello there and welcome to my 118 th blog.
Although we are already in its second month, I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year. May 2025 be filled with amazing experiences, so much love, endless laughter, and the very best that life has to offer. Let us cherish each and every moment that we are all so blessed to have.
Patience is a virtue.
I am so over trying to be patient. I have just been looking at some of my previous blogs, there is so much that I should have learnt about the “P” word!!! Oh dear!!!
My Kindness blogs touch on it indirectly, Just Pause is a no brainer for helping me being patient, and Mindfulness is full blown a way of managing patience. Then there is the blog, Busyness and The Importance of Rest, which is such a fab recipe for aiming for patience, while Think Before You Speak may as well be renamed Be Patient.
One would think, that with all this advice I have glibly handed out over the years, I would be the Absolute Queen of Patience. This is definitely not the case, not by a mountain mile. In fact, I do believe that, at times, I might even be more impatient now than I was a few years ago.
Dearie me.
Let me illustrate my lack of patience.
- Driving
- Every robot turns red as I I get to the robot.
- I encounter slow drivers in the fast lane, every single day, and more often four or more times a Day.
- No one knows what to do at a four way stop, and with most of the robots out along the routes that I take, this becomes a freaking nightmare.
- I swear the traffic cops in Johannesburg watch me and decide to check car licences on any of the routes that I take, most days, whilst I am driving.
- Lifts
- Lifts also have it in for me, and I never wait less than ten minutes for them to arrive, in spite of my, pressing the button every few seconds.
- Once in the lift, it stops at every floor, and, of course, someone gets on and off at each one. Worse still, they often play games with me and go up instead of down.
- Food prep
- Microwaves also seem to have it in for me, two minutes is definitely more like five, and always and every time you have forgotten to heat the side for your dinner party and the rest of the food is getting cold, and your guests are waiting patiently… the p word again.
- Also, the heating up of stuff supposedly takes thirty minutes and after forty five the cheese is still not flipping bubbling.
- Technology
- Forgetting my password all day and every day with many websites and stuff, although I am supposed to have one password for everything
- I lose my s… when autocorrect changes my google search word every time I try to get onto a particular website… Duck…. Apparel
- Captchas that make me click on robots every frikking time and then tell me to do it again, as if I have not got it right!
- Out and about
- Whenever I have to queue, and these days it’s not often, without fail, I chose the longest slowest queue, and it’s when I have allowed the least amount of time to do said errand.
- ATMs also stalk me. Again, I do not use them often, but for a relative I sometimes need to. Every flaming time, the person in front of me takes no less than thirty minutes to do their transactions. Flip, are they applying for a home loan?
- Then at the supermarket, where I occasionally have to be, the people ahead of me always have to go back into the heart of the store to get the one item they realize they have forgotten.
Goodness me! This is not just impatience; it really seems as though there may be a few anger or aggression issues, Hayley! However, please do not fear, I am semi under control, the above is just slightly overexaggerated! Funny that, coming from me.
On a more serious note, over the years, being patient has become more difficult for the world.
The whole technology advancement lark has really put a spanner in the works. We are able to read a book, listen to a certain song, or watch a popular TV series in the click of a button. Supper, an item for baking, or a week’s groceries appear at the gate in a flash. Google answers every query or question you have within seconds. Let us not even start on AI. A letter, a document, or even a birthday greeting appears within a minute.
This has become known as the “microwave generation.” As a result of us having so much available to us immediately, our expectations have gone up, we want results yesterday, and our level of patience have gone down. Not great for me!!
However, there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. We don’t have to be nursery schoolteacher or saint to be patient. It’s not something you have, or you don’t. It’s a skill that everyone can develop and strengthen, in spite of this Microwave Generation thing. Superb news!
How can I do this?
- Pretend to be a sloth
I can move slowly, breathe slowly, and just be. Perhaps I ought to do this at home. I could be admitted if done in public.
- Talk to a plant
Plants are relatively slow to grow, and people do talk to their plants, so this may be the very thing for me. Perhaps I can even help them to grow.
- Bake or cook something without a timer
I can sit and watch it and guess when its done. It may be delish, or it may be inedible. Either way, my patience will be tested.
- Teach a toddler to tie their laces
This would really test my patience. Now just need to find a toddler.
- Order from Takealot and track it every hour or more
It seems that refreshing the page does not make the order arrive any quicker. I would find this tedious.
- Stand in a long line for fun
I could actively choose the longest queue and keep my phone in my bag – A good one.
These ideas are quite fun, but perhaps I should delve a bit deeper now.
I need to think about building my patience by :-.
- Feeling uncomfortable
I am not referring to that feeling that you have when you put those jeans on at the end of a hectic bubbles and gourmet food holiday. No, that feeling that you have when you are in a long line of traffic because someone has broken down in front of you. I can use this time to understand that its okay to slow down, and its not a train smash that I may be a little late. I can even do some deep breathing.
- Listening
Flip, another stuck record story. I do not feel it is necessary to speak too much on this again. However, I do believe that I am becoming a better listener and am holding thumbs, fingers, and toes that this translates into my becoming less impatient.
- Practising mindfulness
Eventually, this has become a part of my life. Much spoken about, and initially terribly maligned by me, I am happy to report that I now practise it on a daily basis, mainly with prayer and breathwork and am hoping this will hone my patience skills. My patients also help me with this.
- Controlling the controllables
Although written and spoken about frequently, this is still one I struggle with. The destiny of My Boys, My Favourite, My Practice and some other deep stuff occupies my thoughts far too much. Again, prayer does seem to help with this, but it is something that if managed would really help with my overall health, wellness, and patience,
- Slowing down.
There has been huge improvement on this one, seriously. Since my bigger boys moved abroad, I seem to have a better handle on this. Our new normal has resulted in a much quieter home, which, although on the one hand, is quite sad, on the other hand, it does help to keep me quite calm. I also seem to be managing my time quite well which means I am able to get my dose of vitamin D a couple of times a week.. Happy with this, and hope for it to become a habit. In turn, watch this space for a more patient me.
- Chatting about this
A problem shared is a problem halved. I love my job, and some of my patients are awesome listeners.
- Being positive
Replacing a negative thought with a positive one, especially when my patience is wearing thin. I can really do this, especially if I can put things into perspective.
- Being kind
Being gentle with myself about this whole patience story, is really important. It will take time. On the other hand, my ongoing acts of kindness towards others, is another wonderful way for me to strive to be patient. This is one area I feel very confident that I can make happen.
This is just a glance at being patient, and I feel will be worth revisiting at a later stage. It really is a very important virtue to have.
It would seem that cultivating patience is a stepping stone to a more fulfilled, balanced, and joyful life.
With thanks to the Goodwall blog for a couple of ideas.
Wishing you a wonderful and patient week ahead.