Hello there and welcome to my fifty-sixth blog.
I am not certain if all of you are aware of the fact that I have the mouth of a guttersnipe. I really do. In fact, as I have repeatedly stated over many years (too many) that what has historically come out of my mouth would make a sailor blush, and we all know how seldom, if ever, sailors have been known to blush. They seem to have rather a “special” relationship with swearing. Moreover, I did not believe that there was anything untoward about the obscene words that would come out of my mouth and that would roll of my tongue freely and with vociferousness. Looking back, it really was not cool, not at all. It’s no wonder a number of acquaintances took offence. Why would they not? Thankfully, I have the best, oldest and closest friends in the world, and it would appear (I am hoping) that they have forgiven me for these many transgressions over the years.
There was a 5-word repertoire that I used to throw around all the time. It was bad, really bad. We could be on a school sports tour for one of our sons, at a gentile dinner party with upper crust, well respected and highly regarded folk, or at a girls brunch, and often without rhyme or reason, I would just blurt out said repertoire, usually and mostly, not in a stage whisper. The sheer shock and disbelief that often ensued seemed to egg me on. Often laughter ensued and it certainly made for some fun and interesting times. Just not really that acceptable, in retrospect and in hindsight. Sadly, and truthfully, this was not my only party trick, but we digress, so let us just move swiftly along.
Happily, I must confess, I seem to have matured, and grown up, and seen the error of my ways. Mostly. Hopefully not just because of lockdown and the almost reclusive life we have been leading! What truly amazes me is the fact that generally speaking, my boys do not swear very much at all and actually all seem to have a very good command of the English language.
I have to be honest, however, I probably should still have my mouth washed out with soap, frequently after time spent driving, often and, especially, nowadays. The taxi drivers who do not seem to obey ninety percent of the rules of the road, the people who drive at forty kilometres an hour on a clear good road and the more than numerous potholes that are literally everywhere and which have been worsened by the heavy rainfall we have recently experienced thanks to the tropical storm. The appalling lack of driving skills, etiquette and just basic good manners is sadly lacking on the roads that I frequent, and my defensive driving skills are tested all the time, and then some. Mostly, I drive alone so no one hears me and sometimes when a blasphemous word involuntarily escapes my lips, I make it a point to apologise to God directly thereafter.
So, in my ongoing pursuit and thirst for knowledge, I was beyond excited and super chuffed when I stumbled upon an article, describing the benefits of swearing. Given that I am swearing less, this may strike you as rather odd that this piqued my interest so much, but I just felt that perhaps I could justify just a little, my appalling history with cursing. Perhaps this sounds like a juxtaposition, and that it may be, but I do believe that I still have held onto some of the guilt of my swearing sins and feel that perhaps I do need something to assuage this.
Living in a pandemic has given us all cause to express out frustration, fear and uncertainty. Some people may go for a run or do a HIIT class or meditate or perhaps phone a friend or speak to a therapist. However, research has shown that it would seem that sporadic outburst of cursing, cussing or swearing, call it what you will, may be a good way to process the chaos of living in a world that seems to be spiralling out of our control. In fact, using the F-word can actually have a truly liberating effect when we have bottled up these frustrating and worrying thoughts, ideas and beliefs. The use of the word can have an immediate calming impact on the difficult emotions we might be experiencing. On reflection this is definitely true for me. As mentioned above, with driving, when I can not remember a password, when i stub my toe or when I forget to to do something important. So, I swear and shout a lot and honestly do feel better afterwards.
So, what other benefits can swearing have for you?
- It may help reduce your pain.
Researchers at Keele university in the United Kingdom found that people could endure the stinging and numbing pain of holding their hands in ice water longer if they were able to fire off expletives. The reason for this is that swearing during a painful experience could trigger an emotional response, the body’s fight or flight response and a surge of adrenaline. However, overuse of swear words may decrease this effectiveness. This was shown in a study of participants who cursed up to 60 times a day. Flip, here we go again! Everything in moderation. So, it may be helpful to swear if you have no access to pain meds or medical care.
- It may help you cope with overwhelming emotions.
In situations where nothing can be done to resolve an issue, for example a spike in Covid cases or the fear that the pandemic has caused, there may not be a single effective action we can take to resolve the issue. So, in these circumstances swearing may represent an important way of releasing the difficult emotional reactions provoked by such an event. Although firing off a few expletives may not make the situation better, this may offer a bit of respite that could be helpful to weather the storm. It can help calm and resolve our internal emotional balance which has been caused by these external issues. In fact, swearing may be an effective short-term emotion-regulation tool. It may even help build our inner strength, resilience (that word again) and confidence.
- It may give us a greater sense of power.
By swearing we show that we have the power to control a situation, and not the reverse of the situation controlling us. This may help our self esteem and sense of self. This may help us overcome our anxiety, and give us the reassurance that we can control the negative situation.
- It may help us to live a more authentic life.
By allowing ourselves the freedom to swear when talking to others, it may allow us to live more honestly and authentically as it signals to us that we can relax, be ourselves and speak freely without fear. This signals to us that we are amongst friends. I sometimes struggle when people take offence to the “F” word, because who actually decided that it was an offensive word in the first place? Anyway, this may also give validation for the act of swearing when it is necessary. Most of my friends have been amazing in the past when foul language inadvertently escaped from my mouth. Food for thought, another day and perhaps another blog.
- It may lead a team to victory.
In my opinion, the awesome Springbok coach, Rassie Erasmus, who led our boys to victory, in the 2019 Rugby World cup, was well-known for his frequent use of the “F” word. He would address our team in the locker room before and during matches, often saying “Boys, you must just F… them up” Do yourselves a favour, if you have not already, watch the “Chasing the Sun” series. it tells the story of the Springboks and their journey to the pinnacle of international rugby. So, this word must be a good word, surely? It leads to triumph and unites a troubled whole nation, for a while. This is my belief and I am sticking to it.
- It is a non-violent outlet.
Cursing enables us to get back at bad people or situations without having to resort to a punch or a smack or a kick. It may be seen as an act of sublimation, whereby we channel our anger by swearing, and this is definitely a healthier outlet than resorting to violence. The odd curse or cuss seems to be a great alternative to physical brutality.
- It may increase your creativity.
Folk who are naturally creative may come up with very creative cussing words in the process of doing this, and this may help muster up the energy to complete a project or finish a work of art.
- It may benefit your overall health.
Swearing increases your circulation, elevates your endorphins and serotonin levels (see point 1 above) and gives you an overall sense of calm, control and well-being. A little swearing may go a long way but try not to let it become a vulgar habit, like I did back in the day before the rinderpest, I mean Covid!
Bottom line, friends, a little swearing when it is necessary, may be good for you. However, let’s try not to direct it at a person, and let us try not to offend or upset other people. Let us try to curse with moderation. You see I am getting better at using that word. Progress. Yay!
With thanks to a few ideas from Emily Walters and Brian Krans.
Wishing you all the most magnificent weekend.